May 2012
3 posts
Basement
You catch yourself thinking in a moment of silence.
The only sound is your breathing and my thoughts screaming. One says yes, while the other says no, and the other thoughts scream nonsense. Taking in the night isn’t easy for some people. The thoughts construct into live images. There is a lot of ruckus going around. The sound of gun fire and there is a gun in my hand. The sound of people...
My thoughts from a picture today.
It’s late in the morning the sun is hot and everyone is out. Out and about doing chores or at work. The sound of bikes riding around with some cars on the street. On the gravel there is animal feces and it’s still hot. With the smell of urine, vomit, water, and alcohol. The people negotiating with prices and the amount of product.
My stomach grumbles and I am starving. Despite all...
My Emotions Right Now
Sometimes I see my family history being written in front of me. I see it whenever I go and visit. I sometimes don’t really like reality to be honest. I honestly hate reality and it breaks my heart. I would love life to be like that beautiful piano song you listen to on those rainy nights while you love sleeps in the other room. It’s like all the wonderful imaginative world you thought...
April 2012
2 posts
Words
It was the emotion that caught me. It was like being shocked all at once through my nerves. It was painful and a pleasant surprise. It was the sound of that light tap.
How I saw the whole world become real. It was real in my eyes and thoughts. I was in a place that no one could ever take away from me. My own creation, that came from my thoughts, and now is reality. The sound of paper hitting a...
A Chance...
Sitting here in this math class dull and easy. Rummaging through my head for thoughts to keep me entertained. There is dry sweat from the workout I just finished. Dry and salty I can taste it on my lips. Fascinated by someone else’s life, I begin to think of friends. I take a look around to view the people around myself. A guy speaks to me and asks if I have a piece of paper. I break out...
March 2012
8 posts
Work
I go to work everyday and I don’t talk to anyone except for hi and bye. I’m not a bitch nor I’m I conceded. I am in a phase, some point in my life, and I am just changing. The people I know and have in my life I am koo with however, I am not ready to let other people in or it could be that I just know making friends at work plus letting everyone know you business is trouble.I...
“When I see my mother I remember why I cry so much and why I love so much....”
– Janet-JAG
Animals
The loud voices drown out my thoughts. Gazing at the giant blurs all around. It’s like a giant zoo however each animal speaks in the same tongue. There is no lack of communication between one another. One animal gets angry while the others are consumed with their own tasks. There is a smell in the air that the animals hunger for and crave. Making their mouths water and minds blank. While...
February 2012
2 posts
Wintry Lane
Looking down the long road ahead of myself even though it can be snuffed out in a blink of an eye. I look straight down the stony path with the lovely orange, blood red trees around myself. Breathing in the warm but bitter cold winter air. My breath is seen as I exhale, into the world and reach out my arms towards the wintry sky. Looking deeply into the the clouded world above myself. Pondering...
Dreamer.
There is a time and day when you realize what life is really is. I lose track of what I am and what I have. Even though I am not bathed in riches. I am bathed in what I have is true love, a mother that loves me with a full heart and siblings that bicker with me, siblings that love me… I am stuck in the cage called a home because of the lack of money I do not have. I am stuck in the same spot...
January 2012
6 posts
I wonder if Animals ever Laugh at us?
I’m starting to see things in a different perspective. We are what we are and we act the way we act. There is no point is trying to make life adjust to your need but you adjust to what life throws at us. I can perfectly say I am unsatisfied with the world we live in and what it has to offer. I can say with a full heart our time is nothing but a big mess with many adults who are still...
I know your watching.....
Walking back and forth. My hands entangled in my hair. My hands entangled in my hair. Walking back and forth until I know something is there waiting for me. There is only this white wall and this white room. Looking around with nothing to look at and my own words only echo in this room. Shut up! Don’t say a a word just shhhhhhhhhhhhh, there is someone watching. There is someone here....
Broken Wrist.
The darkness has consumed my soul. There was silence inside of my body. I had no feeling left but anguish and loneliness. The tears ran like the rain outside my window. Wild and unruly. As I sit here smoking like a chimney to numb out any other emotion that tried to come into my heart and soul. The sound of the rain is comforting but my heart is dying. Crying out for help but silence rings around...
God is the only man I need.
Thank you Lord for always being there for me. Thank you God almighty for being the only man I can trust. Thank you God for never leaving me when I need you the most. God is the only man I trust.
She is a demon not a saint.
It felt like I was dreaming when I was really standing in reality. The clouds passed by and the cars zoomed by. Even then my mind was just trying to process what I had heard. I was trying to understand how my past could be repeating its self. It felt like a dream and reality never felt so real. Numb on the inside and outside shattered like glass crashing towards the ground. The impact of it...
Stop Light.
There are those pretty little pink flowers floating down so softly towards the earth. There is the scent of wood burning far off in the distance. There is the soft touch of the grass and the morning dew that lingers on. There is the blue sky with that one cloud hovering over my head. The smell of burning wood is a lovely smell. The flowers float down with gravity in such a delicate matter. I reach...
December 2011
21 posts
My Papi
As I sip this pink rosy wine that I taste and enjoy in my mouth. I remember that everything in the world isn’t tainted. There are those who are still good and love with a full heart. There are people who love life and want to improve. My fiance has brought spice and different perspectives into my life. He has indulged me in the goods of life. He was the first that I smoked weed with and I...
“That’s the best revenge of all: happiness. Nothing drives people crazier than...”
– Chuck Palahniuk (via brain-food)
Baby Marcus.
There are those who don’t appreciate what they have. They take everything for granted and want more. They don’t stop and think about what they have. They don’t open their own eyes and really look around them. They say you don’t understand and your just being a bitch. They say your full of shit and fake. Just because someone tells you something and opens your eyes to certain...
Stage 4
There was a time i sat in from of my psychologist. No expression was worn on his face and for myself. I was yellow, very small, and my body would shake uncontrollably. I had lost count of the times I have sat in front of him. He asked me how I was doing. I responded with I was fairing but I wasn’t there. My body was physically there but my heart and soul were dormant. He tried to get into...
“When I listen to music my soul comes out of its shell and it begins to sing.
It...”
– Janet
Idly Watching
There seems to be a misunderstanding on how I feel. There are the voices in my head that keep screaming in all directions. I am lost and I can’t seem to break down these walls. That I have built so high up and I even forgot how to escape. There is only the lonely walls I have left to hide behind. My heartbeat is sinking into the darkness. There is no way I can explain these feeling fully. So...
Kyoko has a blog: Lessons Learned: 2011 →
brain-food:
Make your own adventure: Regardless of how trivial it is. Make an adventure out of it. Create a treasure map to the grocery store, make up a whole different identify for yourself at Starbucks, speak with a different accent for an entire day. Doesn’t matter what it is, just make it an adventure….
Alone and cold.
It breaks my heart when you walk out like that. Into the cold and me here all alone in this apartment with my thoughts. Sometimes I just want you to hold me without saying a word. All I want is your love but you don’t seem to realize that. I just want silence at times and to feel loved. However, I feel all alone right now and cold. Time will tell….
Nature and I
There was a time when I used to sing and I sang all the time. I was always alone at the time because my siblings didn’t exist at that time. Waking up Saturday mornings and my moms making me breakfast. The kids would come over and play. I would fight and destroy these friendships. Not because I didn’t want friends. I was hurting deep on the inside and the only ones i connected with was...
Heart.
Don’t destroy a woman’s heart. Don’t take her security away. Don’t take her life away just because you are not happy. Don’t go around intoxicating others with your hate. Don’t be mean just because you hate your life. Take a second and a step back. Really look at yourself. Take some time to sleep on it. Take some time with yourself. Even if there are tears locked...
Love Yourself.
There are times when the voice wins. It’s like a poison that keeps taking over my mind and soul. My mind is toxic to it’s own body. My mind doesn’t want to change for the better. It’s like I look at myself in the mirror and I look like any other person on the outside. Yet, on the inside there is war that won’t shut down. Since I have been a child I can remember being...
The moment I was Born.
I see things differently from others and I know others may view things like myself. There are times I catch myself talking in my head. There is right and wrong inside there. However, the other voice inside this head is arguing with me all the time. It seems as if it’s trying to take itself down. Drowning me in my thoughts and not letting me have a chance. I remember when I was younger living...
Small World
We all live in our own little world. We all have different perspectives of what is wrong or right. What should be and shouldn’t be. What will happen and what won’t happen. Different fears and happiness. Different secrets and mistakes. Different feelings and hearts. Different hardships and failures. Different dreams and needs. We are only human and we fall. Some stand up again and...
Thinking....
Life is nothing but a trail by God and if I didn’t know any better there is nothing for me in this world but a lot of disappoints. There is nothing but my own hope and dreams to look forward to. There is nothing wrong in just believing in myself after so many betrayals.
Thinking....
Life is nothing but a trail by God and if I didn’t know any better there is nothing for me in this world but a lot of disappoints. There is nothing but my own hope and dreams to look forward to. There is nothing wrong in just believing in myself after so many betrayals.
Thoughts.
There are times in life that I catch myself thinking about why is life a challenge. Born to a world I was not prepared for even though I been through my trails. How can life be full of bliss and then the next moment a complete enigma? Looking around myself, I do not feel alone because I know other people are struggling. I look up to the big Man upstairs because if I do not I lose sight of life...
October 2011
5 posts
Good and Bad Times
There is only hope left deep down in this tiny little hole. That has been dug by the very emotions that left it behind. The life in it grew smaller and smaller each day. Then there came a deeper and deeper but darker hole. When the time came there was nothing left inside but loneliness. Then hope came along to shine some light. Then loneliness wasn’t so sad anymore and warmth came back...
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Just in case. You never know who might need it.
The Heart
My heart feels heavier than all the burdens in the world out there. This feeling is killing me inside. I want to scream and cry. I want to yell at God for what is going on. I feel so alone and it hurts. I feel so ashamed and it hurts. I feel so raw and real that anything else feels better than this. I want to become numb like ice and just melt away with my feelings. I just want the pain to go away...
“There is no one that I can share my thoughts with besides my own mind.
There is...”
– JAG
Puppets2
My thoughts are moving to rapidly. The world is spinning out of control. The massacre in my head as gone on far too long. The smell of the lonely and forgotten flesh. Lingers in my nose and thoughts. The screams of all the the tortured thoughts of those puppets. That were just discarded after used for there own greed. The world is screaming and I can’t stand the sounds of those puppets. Even...
September 2011
1 post
If a man does not appreciate you that does not mean that you are not worth anything. It is the opposite a man could not handle you at your best and he does not deserve everything you have.
“When life gets hard its okay to cry.”
– Me
I am not what I appear to be
If silence was really silence now a days. A lot of people would have a bit of peace of mind. Sometimes I wonder in my own silence if I would ever be a good writer. Or if I am just babbling on with this life. i know people read this and I know that I say some depressing things. However, my writing is this way and there are those moments I have bright poems or passages. My heart….my writing...